2020 Year End Blog

2020 has been something else & I think I speak for many people in saying I've never experienced anything like it.

It started off okay, nothing special or extraordinary; except for the rice. 

Now, I'm a pretty good cook, only because when I was young my mom taught me how to cook & because of that I can hold my own in the kitchen against anyone. I'm trying to glean as much as I can from her now, I'll never learn it all but the older she gets the more I take over for her especially during the major Holidays, so Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years is mostly my responsibility & she's happy that at least her skills will live on.

Back to my story: I love Mexican food, having lived in Oklahoma for several years I developed a taste for it so imagine my surprise when I attempted some homemade Spanish rice & it turned out black. It was burned beyond recognition. I was embarrassed. That should have been a sign that 2020 was not going to be an ordinary year...    

Then the pandemic hit.

Everything was closing: businesses, churches, everything but essential businesses such as grocery stores, gas stations & liquor stores. Stay-at-home orders were issued. The state government was dealing w/ an unknown & fear was gripping the nation & the planet. In my opinion, it went way overboard & got out of control. So, eventually the churches were allowed to reopen w/ severe restrictions. I'm going to be honest here: it triggered some of my End Time/Tribulation fears. I was always taught by several elders that the sign of the end would be when the Government tells the Church what to do & the Church complies, without question. That's when Jesus, the head of the Church, is replaced by the State. 

If the State tells you not to physically touch people (lay hands on, pray for, etc) but the Lord directs you to, who will you obey? This & many others scenarios the majority of church leaders in the area/nation wrestled with & reopening services w/ restrictions really, really bothered me; I had to pray it out until I got some peace on it because I had red flags flashing in my spirit. I fasted & prayed for around 10 days on it & it just wasn't sitting right. I'm not slamming any pastor or church leader who, after a lot of godly counsel “followed the rules” & reopened. I trust my pastor & leaders to hear from God; I simply hate the idea of the State dictating to the Church “anything”.    

Now, the stay-at-home orders earlier this year were a perfect time for everyone to reset, to hone some skills, to get quite a few things done & I was gung-ho to focus on revisiting some music, get some recording done, etc.

Such are the things dreams are made of...

- Youtube was screwing w/ my comments for our online services, I'd type something & no one would see it, week after  week this happened. I tried to engage online w/ people in my fellowship & it wasn't happening.

- Another time, 10 minutes before I'm to record a new song, the electronics on my acoustic guitar fry.

- A little while later, the morning I was going to record a few songs, the hard drive on my pc died. It was working perfectly for months (& even the night before) but the very morning I try to do something it dies. It wouldn't even boot, 'could not access anything, all was lost.

- Then, I go to my laptop, where all my songs are stored & the software freezes up & the music files, most every one of them, were corrupted & unplayable.

These issues kept happening & I was frustrated. I had enough of this nonsense. Some people said it was an attack of the enemy & I'm not discounting that but I believe a lot of it was the Lord just telling me, “Relax, quit trying to make things happen, it's timing...”. I felt much better after that, I was still frustrated but I did feel better.

My heart is to get the musicians in my fellowship recorded, to encourage them to write original stuff & the shutdowns + stay-at-home orders were a perfect time to do some online collaborating & I shot out several emails & messages to the fellow musicians to offer to work on some original stuff, to send me their songs, etc. 

Crickets.

I got zero responses. It was not encouraging.

Then later our fellowship started the BLESS Initiative. BLESS = Bless, Listen, Eat, Serve, Share. 

It was a great concept to get/keep the congregation connected to each other & others outside the fellowship. So I thought I'd give this a try. I sent out several emails & messages to try to connect w/ some people. Guess what happened?

More Crickets. A plethora of crickets. 

Not one person responded. I know I'm not the most popular person in the fellowship & popularity isn't everything; I don't feel so bad because even Jesus couldn't win a popularity contest. I've been continually ignored this year & if I wasn't so solid in Christ I would have a complex about “something”.

The only thing that seemed to go right in 2020 were my jalapeno plants, I grew them from seedlings early this Spring & they prospered. 

So this year I've learned patience, I've learned not to take things personal, I've learned not to try to make things happen & I've learned to value my family & friends; when your freedom is taken or even restricted, when you cannot see family or friends you tend to value both your freedom & them more than you did before. 

I also lost both a cousin & an aunt this year, 'never had the chance to say goodbye to either of them.

In one sense, 2020 has not been the greatest year for me but in another sense, it was good because God is good. He was & still is so very faithful & I'd say 2020 is ending pretty well. I may even attempt the Spanish rice again before the end of the year, on the other hand...